I’ll be honest here and say that I am a tie-fan. I think ties are neat. Look at Michael Caine. Eh? So, this isn’t objective, but it will slate those people who cannot manage this, the simplest of all smarteners. The bad-assest of finishing touches
There’s been a lot in the popular style press, and national press commentary about the death of the tie, about its irrelevance in a modern age. Bullshit. Only lazy people don’t wear ties, or people who are intimidated by the effort and execution of something they’re out of the habit of doing. The simple act of tying a tie.
In the decades leading up to the 90s it was almost inconceivable that a man who hoped to convey a modicum of style and decorum would not wear a tie. But then a gradual, then rapid, decline happened and the cult of ‘smart casual’ took a fearsome grip of people. Men got scared to stand out, and stand up for their right to be smart and great looking.
But, and here’s the rub, it can go oh so very wrong. When it can also go very right.
Thin Ties: Really in the public eye. Quite consistently. Especially with Mad Men showing us real 50s style. However, thin ties have always been the domain of pop stars. Case in point here, take a look at Bowie. Have you ever seen anyone look like such a pasty and geeky little greasy oik? No, me neither. But, look at what the tie has done. Cool.
But, like many things in this sordid world the thin tie has been appropriated by the wretched hipsters. I’m so very angered by these Ramones-a-likes that I cannot even bear to post a photo of some, even though it’d be to poke fun at them. Just picture now a scrawny-legged, knock-kneed, hands-stuffed-into-tight-pockets, $1000 jacket wearing scruff-bag with his thin tie on. Now, go and punch a wall.
Lots of people look good in these, but they don’t look like Bowie.
Fat Tie-Knot: These massive things are pretty much gone now, but there were many a footballer, and many still, who seem to think that this pseudo-gangsterish nonsense is somehow impressive. It is. To other men like this. Who think they’re macho, when they’re actually enormously in love with each other. Windsor knots they are really, but they’re freakish and only worn by power obsessives who want to look like Gordon bloody Gecko.
So, before this post runs away with me and I start talking about kipper ties, paisley ties, joke ties (don’t), wedding ties (awful) or bow ties (for Christ’s sake) I am going to remind those of you who are educated enough to know already, and inform the rest of you poor sods, just how very fucking marvellous a piece of neckwear can be. But, not a tie my friends. A cravat. Don’t try this at home, you will fail. Badly.
That’s the Jackal that is. Gosh. Eh?